Within me it's like this. The emotion comes and goes. There's no telling when. I never expected myself to feel this way but I guess it's unavoidable. I know not what I must or will do. In this, I am lost.
I'm really sad I didn't try hard enough. Sometimes it's better to be leagues away than being stopped just out me reach.
Now that it's over, I'll drift away. Not at all alike my introduction, It'll be a quiet event. Now that it's over I've yet to set a new high score but that don't matter. It's my effort either way.
I lived, I loved, I lost. But that's the past. This is where my win streak begins.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Through this world where darkness roams
Light still has a place, within ourselves.
Each step of the way that seems unsure
You're not alone, so just hang on.
Where tears fall free and grief is rampant
Hope is not far away, just believe in what you do not see.
When waves overwhelm and buildings collapse
Foundations are tested and you know what you're made of.
If ever fear and anger is all that is known
Love will appear and save the day
Light still has a place, within ourselves.
Each step of the way that seems unsure
You're not alone, so just hang on.
Where tears fall free and grief is rampant
Hope is not far away, just believe in what you do not see.
When waves overwhelm and buildings collapse
Foundations are tested and you know what you're made of.
If ever fear and anger is all that is known
Love will appear and save the day
Hakuna Matata
I feel this urge to blog, but i lack inspiration. So, this will be pure randomness, whatever comes to mind.
Through this we've shown how strong we are, really have guys. I salute thee, my friends.
It's amazing, my ability to smile. I doubted it for awhile, but it hasn't left me. It's not that i don't feel or don't care, I just know right where my peace is.
I'm sorry i haven't been able to be the most comforting of friends, but I think I tried. And i really care.
It still feels weird being in class and doing work, like something just aint right for studying.
Through this we've shown how strong we are, really have guys. I salute thee, my friends.
It's amazing, my ability to smile. I doubted it for awhile, but it hasn't left me. It's not that i don't feel or don't care, I just know right where my peace is.
I'm sorry i haven't been able to be the most comforting of friends, but I think I tried. And i really care.
It still feels weird being in class and doing work, like something just aint right for studying.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
I'm still me.
Facts are facts. We gotta face them eventually, why not sooner than later.
I'm worried bout him, of all the people I know, he's the worst hit :/
When life gives you lemons, make lemon juice.
Living's just like that, you get what you're given. There's no bargaining.
Metal must be refined by fire to be pure and strong. So must humans.
Without challenges, we go no where.
Why worry about tomorrow when today is not over?
Each day is filled with twist and turns, you never know what's up ahead. So be prepared for it all.
Dragging yourself through a day only wears you out.
Let's be purposeful, live with meaning. Know your meaning.
I'm worried bout him, of all the people I know, he's the worst hit :/
When life gives you lemons, make lemon juice.
Living's just like that, you get what you're given. There's no bargaining.
Metal must be refined by fire to be pure and strong. So must humans.
Without challenges, we go no where.
Why worry about tomorrow when today is not over?
Each day is filled with twist and turns, you never know what's up ahead. So be prepared for it all.
Dragging yourself through a day only wears you out.
Let's be purposeful, live with meaning. Know your meaning.
Friday, March 27, 2009
I'm sorry
I simply wasnt good enough, i wasnt strong enough. 2 aint enough. I was that close.
you know in the past 2 days i suddenly came to realize that how close you are really affects how much you'll feel... damn right, im disappointed, damn right i know i could have done better. I'll be back, stronger than ever. just you people wait and see.
you know in the past 2 days i suddenly came to realize that how close you are really affects how much you'll feel... damn right, im disappointed, damn right i know i could have done better. I'll be back, stronger than ever. just you people wait and see.
Grief does no good
This goes out to you.
No one ever was to blame. Things happen that we just can't stop. Please, let not grief overwhelm you. It does no good.
Let this serve as a wake up call. Those thoughts you had about death, you now know why I hate them so much.
Through this you are not alone. I'll always, always be right here if im needed. It doesn't matter if you got someone else, I'm still right here.
You loved and did what you could. Now it's time you thought about yourself. You're loved, she'd hate to see the state you're in, so let's say our last goodbye and get on with the life we're given and live it to the fullest.
With love,
Pete.
27/3/09
No one ever was to blame. Things happen that we just can't stop. Please, let not grief overwhelm you. It does no good.
Let this serve as a wake up call. Those thoughts you had about death, you now know why I hate them so much.
Through this you are not alone. I'll always, always be right here if im needed. It doesn't matter if you got someone else, I'm still right here.
You loved and did what you could. Now it's time you thought about yourself. You're loved, she'd hate to see the state you're in, so let's say our last goodbye and get on with the life we're given and live it to the fullest.
With love,
Pete.
27/3/09
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Goodbye dear friend.
It's all happened a little too suddenly...
Dearest sister,
I know you'll never get to read this, but i'll write it anyway. Those 3 years we spent together, I would never forget. Even though i may have gotten angry with you at times, I've always loved you. I'm glad you didnt suffer much, and i pray you passed on with no regrets. With this i end my message, goodbye dear friend.
With love,
Peter.
Life is fragile.
I know none of you were prepared for this, but we must get on with it. I think that's what she'll want us to do. We all loved her very much, and she knows that. There's nothing more we can do but hope she has now found her peace. Let's live life without regrets,
Dearest sister,
I know you'll never get to read this, but i'll write it anyway. Those 3 years we spent together, I would never forget. Even though i may have gotten angry with you at times, I've always loved you. I'm glad you didnt suffer much, and i pray you passed on with no regrets. With this i end my message, goodbye dear friend.
With love,
Peter.
Life is fragile.
I know none of you were prepared for this, but we must get on with it. I think that's what she'll want us to do. We all loved her very much, and she knows that. There's nothing more we can do but hope she has now found her peace. Let's live life without regrets,
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Life's like that
It's that way, you start the day off great, and like the stockmarket, everything can crash in an instant. No matter how high you fly, there's always something that can bring you down in an instant. Agreed? good.
No matter how seemingly innocent a remark, it has the potential to destroy a person. For with the tongue lies the power of life and death. Watch your words when talking to a friend, for it could cause more trouble than you expected.
Each of us has also the potential to make someone's day, or at least brighten it by a little bit. When you see a friend, just give a genuine smile, it'll make the world a nicer place :)
57.2. And for the record, I'm still counting. I still am not ready i feel, but when the time comes i have no choice.
No matter how seemingly innocent a remark, it has the potential to destroy a person. For with the tongue lies the power of life and death. Watch your words when talking to a friend, for it could cause more trouble than you expected.
Each of us has also the potential to make someone's day, or at least brighten it by a little bit. When you see a friend, just give a genuine smile, it'll make the world a nicer place :)
57.2. And for the record, I'm still counting. I still am not ready i feel, but when the time comes i have no choice.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Step back, look at the big picture.
It's the start of term 2. Am i still on track to do well this year? I guess so.
It feels great when life is all great. :) Ignorance is not good. We need to keep track of what goes on around us, of course. But sometimes feigning ignorance is what is needed. You know, when you need to forget something. Just being random...
I'm still not quite ready for friday. Been training loads, but still not there. I need a miracle, seriously.
Kinship
A family or otherwise natural relationship. An affinity.
How important is our kinship? very. The only connection that happens between people 'naturally'. Our kin are those we can trust, those we would never doubt. We always need something to fall back on, a safety net to catch us if we fall. Kin are for just that reason.
With kin we also need to be there for our kin, through the storm. No matter how frustrating it gets. Let he who has been blessed, bless another. That's what i think. Especially towards those who count on us of course.
That's about all i have to say. Think about it. Who is it you can count on all the time.
A life of love
It feels great when life is all great. :) Ignorance is not good. We need to keep track of what goes on around us, of course. But sometimes feigning ignorance is what is needed. You know, when you need to forget something. Just being random...
I'm still not quite ready for friday. Been training loads, but still not there. I need a miracle, seriously.
Kinship
A family or otherwise natural relationship. An affinity.
How important is our kinship? very. The only connection that happens between people 'naturally'. Our kin are those we can trust, those we would never doubt. We always need something to fall back on, a safety net to catch us if we fall. Kin are for just that reason.
With kin we also need to be there for our kin, through the storm. No matter how frustrating it gets. Let he who has been blessed, bless another. That's what i think. Especially towards those who count on us of course.
That's about all i have to say. Think about it. Who is it you can count on all the time.
A life of love
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
boredom makes man do crazy things
I got to my god grandparents house like am hour early today, so I figured I might as well blog rather than sit and stone.
I think nowadays its a rarity for me to be able to sit down and stare at the singapore skyline. To think that was once sea. Amazing what a few decades and good leadership can do.
Everything I have, everything I've been given, everything I've worked hard for. It's all been given :) im glad I've been so greatly blessed.
Sometimes you sit down and try to imagine what some people will be like in a couple of years. Sometimes you get it right, more times you don't. I wonder how much my primary school classmates have grown. Wonder who they have become. Oh well, I'll just have to wait a few more years to see. Will people remember me? What will they think...
Great men are judged by what they accomplish, what they did. I wonder what is it people will remember me by
I think nowadays its a rarity for me to be able to sit down and stare at the singapore skyline. To think that was once sea. Amazing what a few decades and good leadership can do.
Everything I have, everything I've been given, everything I've worked hard for. It's all been given :) im glad I've been so greatly blessed.
Sometimes you sit down and try to imagine what some people will be like in a couple of years. Sometimes you get it right, more times you don't. I wonder how much my primary school classmates have grown. Wonder who they have become. Oh well, I'll just have to wait a few more years to see. Will people remember me? What will they think...
Great men are judged by what they accomplish, what they did. I wonder what is it people will remember me by
I wonder.
What would we do without holidays? I know I'd pretty much just drop and die after the first quarter of each year! :D Forgive me if it sounds kinda weird, but that sounds fun. Dropping dead and dying every 4 months and then getting up after 3 days with no heartbeat. HAHAHAH. Ok forgive my highness too.
Today was different. Today was happy. 7 weeks of bad tuesdays that makes a total of 49 days. And the square of 7 is good.
I am worried about shooting, I've got 9 days left and things are still looking rough.
Peace
The sense that there is simply nothing that requires your immediate attention at the moment that is there to bug you. Or anything that might and will make you upset and or disturbed.
Joy
That thing you feel when you see your best friend holding your birthday cake after the toughest week of your month
Patience
Staring at the seconds tick by for eternity and not feeling bored
Kindness
Doing something nice for someone without there being a necessity
Faithfulness
Not losing sight of the end prize
Love
Care and Affection. Without limit, without circumstance, without reason, without discrimination.
Today was different. Today was happy. 7 weeks of bad tuesdays that makes a total of 49 days. And the square of 7 is good.
I am worried about shooting, I've got 9 days left and things are still looking rough.
Peace
The sense that there is simply nothing that requires your immediate attention at the moment that is there to bug you. Or anything that might and will make you upset and or disturbed.
Joy
That thing you feel when you see your best friend holding your birthday cake after the toughest week of your month
Patience
Staring at the seconds tick by for eternity and not feeling bored
Kindness
Doing something nice for someone without there being a necessity
Faithfulness
Not losing sight of the end prize
Love
Care and Affection. Without limit, without circumstance, without reason, without discrimination.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
as i think it through...
I've got something worth fighting for. something to love. something to cherish. a simple reason for living. I've got friends. I've got family.
as tough as it gets, I'll be ok as long as I stay on the right path. I'll have the strength, the power, the joy and the peace.
for those who hope on the Lord will soar on wings like eagles. they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.
and even as I pass through my darkest hours, I am not alone.
as tough as it gets, I'll be ok as long as I stay on the right path. I'll have the strength, the power, the joy and the peace.
for those who hope on the Lord will soar on wings like eagles. they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.
and even as I pass through my darkest hours, I am not alone.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
seriously speaking...
i admit i see less and less hope as each day passes.
i'm absolutely disappointed and disgusted with a certain few friends.
i hate seeing or hearing about a certain something.
i'm finding it harder to survive the weeks, and each week i find myself compromising a little too much.
i'm absolutely disappointed and disgusted with a certain few friends.
i hate seeing or hearing about a certain something.
i'm finding it harder to survive the weeks, and each week i find myself compromising a little too much.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Friday
taking a while to look back on my day. i think it went good :) i still love my new phone even though i keep sending messages by accident. shooting went good, no complains. even my shoulder healed. fridays are good.
45 days later. i guess it aint the same anymore... im getting along, not too well. but im surviving.
14 days more. not 100% ready, but almost there. i wish i had a month more, but sadly that's not the case.
Manchester United make me very happy :) brighten up my stupid weekdays. i feel bad for not doing my math homework, but i think i figured it would have come eventually, a time when i didnt hand in my math work on time :/
BEWARE.RANDOMNESS.
Like a rose trampled on the ground, growing for so long, but blooming for only a matter of days.
Each time i see, it chips away a little of me. not shattering into a million pieces, but chipping off the edges bit by bit, until nothing is left.
what they say about it cutting into you like a knife aint really true. its more like a sledgehammer pounding over and over again.
sadly, numbness doesnt exist in such situations.
45 days later. i guess it aint the same anymore... im getting along, not too well. but im surviving.
14 days more. not 100% ready, but almost there. i wish i had a month more, but sadly that's not the case.
Manchester United make me very happy :) brighten up my stupid weekdays. i feel bad for not doing my math homework, but i think i figured it would have come eventually, a time when i didnt hand in my math work on time :/
BEWARE.RANDOMNESS.
Like a rose trampled on the ground, growing for so long, but blooming for only a matter of days.
Each time i see, it chips away a little of me. not shattering into a million pieces, but chipping off the edges bit by bit, until nothing is left.
what they say about it cutting into you like a knife aint really true. its more like a sledgehammer pounding over and over again.
sadly, numbness doesnt exist in such situations.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
miserable me
I feel miserable.
dear diary,
today went pretty much like my previous5 tuesdays was feeling fine till the last could periods where my day came crashing down. i really wished people would just say stuff rightout. feel disappointed i've let myself fall into such a state. but yet even more disappointed in those thought were friends. oh well, for now im alone...
pete
dear diary,
today went pretty much like my previous5 tuesdays was feeling fine till the last could periods where my day came crashing down. i really wished people would just say stuff rightout. feel disappointed i've let myself fall into such a state. but yet even more disappointed in those thought were friends. oh well, for now im alone...
pete
Monday, March 9, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Purpose, purpose, purpose. My purpose? To make the world i live in happier. Yupp, got that part settled. But what do I do to fulfill that purpose? I'm not too sure.
Purpose should never be about yourself, but when you do carry out your purpose, of course you would be happy too.
Isn't it wonderful to see the beauty of the world we live in? For a moment, just forget the death and destruction, filter it out, what do you get? An absolutely nice world. The joy of the Lord shall be my strength, in this I believe. The one reason why i would be able to survive the year would be because i have joy. I have hope that if I am able to survive this, I would be able to survive more!
Growing up is tough, but I believe that I'll be able to enjoy growing old :) Knowing i have fought my battles and won my war.
Living in the end times is not easy, no one ever said it would be. But there's a reason we're the chosen generation, we've been brought up to live it through, to win it. Even though bad days will only get more frequent, grace and mercy will still be there. The beauty of grace is that it makes life unfair. :D
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Lets face facts.
I'm breaking down. But thankfully, this month is forecasted to be the toughest of the year, not sure how accurate that prediction is though.
I can't think straight, my muscles are aching, and my emotions are all mixed up. Shooting's been quite great. Seen improvement in the past week, still not up to standard, but its a start.
Class has been, sucky. My phone got confiscated for the first time ever in my school life, which kinda irritates me. Chinese is a pure waste of time.
But no matter what, i will prevail. Through these brick walls and not around them, just because i love seeing them crash and burn.
For love brought us life.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Me & Jesus- Stellar Kart
the song says it all, youtube it.
All your bridges have been burned
Feels like you've hit rock bottom
Don't give up it's not the end
Open up your heart again
When you feel like no one
Understands where you are
[chorus]
Someone loves you even when you don't think so don't you know you got
Me and Jesus by your side through the fight you will never be alone on your own you got me and Jesus
After all that we've been through
Be now you know I've doubted too
But everytime my head was in my
Hands you said to me
Hold on to what we got
This is worth any cost so
Make the most of life
That's borrowed
Love like there's no tomorrow
Monday, March 2, 2009
Random.
Everyday, those thoughts skip through my clustered mind. like leaves tossed into a hurricane.
For what is there to life besides a purpose? We work for even the slightest possibility, for that, is hope. Hope cannot be measured, for its greatness lies in the interpretation of the viewer.
Love, Hope, Faith, my favorite words; the things I live by. Of these the greatest is Love, and without that, there is nothing. But, the 3 go hand in hand. What is it to have faith? I feel it is having the firm belief that the hope in a situation will be realised. And having the willingness to give your all. Hope is more than just seeing the possibility, its believing in it and being able to set it above the obstacles.
For as long as life shall be in me, so will love, hope and faith be there.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Thank You
Thanks for the wonderful life i've had and am having.
Thanks for the wonderful friends i love.
Thanks for my intelligence.
Thanks for my family.
I am still contemplating over what path i wish to take for the rest of my life, after studying. I wish to travel the world, but yet that does not seem a realistic dream if i wish to have a family and kids too. I wish guidance comes to me soon, and i hope that when it does appear, i recognize it.
As of late, i've had much trouble getting myself to think. Perhaps I am simply too exhausted to give anything too deep a thought. But yet again, maybe I'm afraid of the conclusions i might or will come to.
For life is worth the living because You live.
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